I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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