I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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