Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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