Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
