His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
