I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
