"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
