a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
a search helicopter?!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
