I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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