We won't sleep together?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
