That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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