"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
