In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
