We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
