I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
