The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
