the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
