I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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