She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
