am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Success! We fucked roommates!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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