yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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