She announced her abortion via fbk
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
