so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
