Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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