i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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