You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
