She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
