I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
