you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
