here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Be still, my beating vagina.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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