like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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