TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She bit a glass in half.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
