i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
