why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
