a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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