Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
