Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
