I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
