Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Randomize
