Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
