A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
