Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
