Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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