Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I feel like a drive thru vagina
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
