just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
