How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
