you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
