shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
