i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
