guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
