3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
