I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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