puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
