he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
