fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
